This gallery is protected by Internet Security Fingerprint Scanning (ISFS).
Using ISFS we are now able to scan the complex patterns in your fingerprints directly off the monitor of your computer. This technique is similar to the technology that a light pen uses. A light pen pointed at a video monitor records coordinate positions by responding to the light emitted from phosphors on the screen.
The present system of fingerprint classification derives from the system published in 1900 by Sir Edward Henry of Scotland Yard. It is based on the classification of three general patterns--arches, loops, and whorls--which are subdivided into types. This subdivision is extended by ridge counts. Fingerprint cards are filed according to classification type, and the cards can be retrieved by computer networks for comparison with new, unidentified fingerprints.
It is highly likely that your fingerprints are on file somewhere in the world. If you are an American (U.S. Citizen) your fingerprints are almost certainly on file and linked directly to all of your online computer records, including, but not limited to: DMV records, Drug and Alcohol test results, your credit report, medical records, confidential counselling transcripts... in fact almost anything you can name.
If you have no police record you will be given permission to view the Gallery of Goofy Dancing Baloney.
Otherwise, you will be ejected from this page and not permitted to return.
Ever.
Your ISP will be notified of any and all transgressions.
To gain admittance to the Gallery of Goofy Dancing Baloney you must begin by answering the following questions absolutely truthfully before continuing:
Next, you must pass this simple test:
Instructions:
1. Place your left thumb on the scanner.
2. Press the 'Start Scan Process' button using your right hand on the mouse.
3. Wait patiently for further instructions.
4. Whatever you do, please, please, do not hit your browser's 'back' or 'stop' button during processing!.